Am I a Paradox?

The pen and paper
are my reflection.
But now I take a step back,
I look at my reflection—


And I do not recognize
who am I seeing.
Who is this person,
written in the mirror?


My pen thinks that she's
a lion, a master, a warrior,
The star of the theater.
While I'm stumbling down
a steep and rocky slope,
Her words are like a river.


Who is this person,
written in the mirror?


I thought I was
a stone, a creek,
a lone, dark forest.
But this pen I have,
She goes on her own.
I'm just in awe.
She would write down
my every single thought,
but then they'd all sound
like an alien to me, how odd.


Who is this person,
Written in the mirror?


I never thought I'd be
so terrified—
of my own handwriting.
Are you really sure,
That this pen and paper,
That they're my reflection?


But then,
if you think about it,
This whole world,
it doesn't make sense to me either.


Like why do we see
water falling from the sky?
Why does 2 + 3
always equal 5?
Why is the sun always
agreeing to shine,
7 days a week,
365 days a year,
until it dies? 


There is absolutely
nothing
that’s stopping this world from
changing its mind,
except for God. 
And tomorrow,
the laws of physics could just
spontaneously rearrange itself
without any warning. 


You know,
I’m the strangest person I’ve ever met,
but I think this entire universe
is even stranger. 


It’s so strange indeed,
very strange… but yet,
how can it be so beautiful?
Just like all those fiery,
twinkling stars in the night sky. 
Those giant balls of fire
suspended in utter nothingness. 
They are so strange,
yet they don’t ever question
the oddity of their existence, 
they don’t ever question
why they are the way they are,
they just keep on shining until
they can shine no longer.
Just how can they possibly do that?


And to think,
that I’m like the universe too:
Strange, paradoxical, and mysterious.
Full of never-ending oddities.
Full of blatantly, glaring imperfections,
yet so fearfully and wonderfully made.


…I just need to be at peace with that.


Because this person who I see,
written in the mirror,
is, and has always been truly:
me.




Comments

2 responses to “Am I a Paradox?”

  1. Lashaan Balasingam @ Bookidote Avatar

    I like this piece; it really captures that constant search for identity that we have throughout life. As a thorough introvert, I also find myself wondering how content I could be if how I write could be reproduced in how I speak but I tend to adapt the way I talk depending on who I talk to instead… Thanks for sharing! 😀

    1. Rebecca Marie Avatar

      Yes I also find myself wondering the same thing… Thanks for commenting! 🙂

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